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So, this is just a quick thought that came to me right as I was getting ready for bed. I should be fast asleep, since i start school tomorrow, but that would be a little contradictory to what I have to say. What I have to say is... that we need to take action. We need to pray.

The "hot scoop" that I have on all of your favorite celebrities is that they are... HUMAN! It can be so easy to forget that sometimes, and tonight I feel like God reminded me of that fact. I was listening to some music from the popular rap artist, "Kid Cudi," and a lot of his lyrics, though sometimes vulgar, are about feeling disconnected and alone in the world, lost in all it's chaos, trying to find some joy or good feeling. At first I found myself put off by some of the obscenities. Then I found myself belittling Mr. Cudi for his shameless drug references, thinking, "well that is so cliche of him, using drugs to escape the sadness!" But, then God punched me in the jaw.

I began to think how badly Kid Cudi seems to need the Lord. How all this frustration and heartache and loneliness he seems to feel, could be alleviated by the love of God. It made me sad, because I began to think how many people try to share the love of God with Kid Cudi on a regular basis? Not too many I assume. I mean, I assume in most celebrity lives, there is not a workplace christian friend who is slowly building a relationship with them to convert them. Odds are, most the people Kid Cudi works with are just as lost as he is.

It seems we get so wrapped up in looking at these people as icons and putting them on such enormous pedestals that we often forget that they are God's children as well. We are so quick to judge them, in ways we would never judge our close friends or neighbors... for some reason unknown to me, we hold them to a higher standard, when in actuality we should be holding them to a much lower standard, for many are living at the core of americas materialistic plague.

Now, i am not saying that we need to all hop in a bus and drive to all the music studios and pruduction companies and start witnessing to movie stars and musicians, but what I am calling you to do, is to become people of prayer. When you see a celebrity couple going through a divorce caused by adultery, instead of judging them, pity them, think how hard it must be to live under a magnifying glass, to have your marriage and life constantly surveyed by strangers. Then pray for them. pray for healing, pray for them to discover true love in Christ.

I am always to sickened by our obsession with celebrity scandal and with TMZ, but I have never done anything about it. So, I am going to try to make it my mission to pray for these people. Right now, i will pray for Kid Cudi, that he can find love in his life, that Jesus will work in his heart. We need to seriously cast off all the snide comments, all the judgement, and all the mundane worldliness in our lives and become Christians who actually pray for others. In every area of our lives, we need to become people of prayer.

Anyways, I need to get to bed. It was just a thought, but I think that if we take this upon our hearts, we will become much happier people. Prayer will soften us, and save others. It's time we stand out in this world as people who love the unloved.

Soul's Door.

Stripped of his scales, delivered from darkness
eyes left wide open
and the fog of the trail thins o'er the thorn brush
and again, his eyes widen

looking down at her hands, she sees what they are
lids tense, and ajar
Oh how they abscond from the good they are meant for
"Calm... relieve souls doors"

Then time doth progress, and change in excess
with eyes ever peering
my heart's in a trance, and my mind does not sense
that my eyes should be fearing

Seduction of thoughts, and feed the foul pride
keen eyes grow careless
and all that we've fought, and kept from inside
returns us to darkness

Again, he does wander, and her hand's stretched in fear
sight has been cut
inadequate and tender, our minds search for answers
but with eyes sewn shut

but as sure as the night, the light it shall come
as weary eyes waken
and with a conscience of fright, they give in to Him
and their eyes are wide open.

Refusal.

"The only thing we have to do is to refuse to give in. [to temptation]" -Mother Teresa.

This is a fairly heavy quote. Most times I am faced with the concept of temptation, I think of it in its most basest form, the kind that seems to be most prevalent and blatant in our culture, sexual. The passing of a young, pretty and scantily clad woman, sensual movie scenes, and solitude on the internet, these are times when I find myself tempted to think unwholesome thoughts and to do unwholesome acts. But, because the sin itself is so blatant, so is the escape. Look away, log off, flee... It is not always easy, but the escape is clear. In these situations I find it is easy to act according to this quote my Mother Teresa, but what about temptation that is much deeper and complex? Giving into the enemies lies about loneliness, the perception of others about myself, injustice against pride, suffering? All of the sudden simply refusing to give in does not seem as attainable, it becomes much harder to simply grasp the idea when the "escape" is less visible.

I, of recent, have come to terms with the fact that that I struggle with loneliness, whether I am in actuality alone or not, I have a lingering fear of being alone. There are times when I find myself sitting in despair, wasting away time and energy with thoughts of self pity, anger, and hopelessness. In times like this, I have in fact, succumbed to temptation. I have let the devil convince me that I am not loved, I have let him put weight in the opinions of those who do not matter (in light of God's love), and in turn, I have given the devil grounds to feed my pride, even if in that moment I feel none, because once the despair settles, I can become hardened, angry, and selfish. Giving in to the delusion that I am alone, and therefore my focus should be on my own self defense.

So, in view of such a moment of despair contrasted with this quote with mother teresa, I can try to put my finger on that moment when I failed to "refuse to give in," and I can't. This is because refusal is not always just a black and white "pre-sin" decision we make. In many cases of deeply rooted sin or suffering, refusal is in itself a process that we must seek after, and start enacting and living in our day to day lives, that will eliminate these fleeting moments of servanthood to our pain that build disdain within our souls. Refusal then becomes something we live rather than something you do every now and then.

In my case, I was today, inspired by the writings/teachings of Thomas Merton, a Trappist Monk.

 "If we are to love sincerely and with simplicity we must first of all overcome our fear of not being loved...We must somehow strip ourselves of our greatest illusions about ourselves, frankly recognize how many ways we are unlovable, descend into the depths of our being until we come to the basic reality that is in us, and learn to see that we are lovable after all, in spite of everything!...We must find our real self in all it's elemental poverty, but also in its great and very simple dignity: created to be a child of God, and capable of loving with something of God's own sincerity and his unselfishness."

Thus, this act of humbling myself before God, of attempting to relieve my fear, is my refusal. When I begin to do this, my sincerity in my relationship with the father will grow, and thus my concern with being loved by other men will be replaced by a desire to love the God within them. Merton writes that once we are,

"Centered entirely upon the immense liberality that we experience God's love for us, we will never fear that his love could fail us. Strong in the confidence that we are loved by him, we will not worry too much about the uncertainty of being loved by other men. I do not mean that we will be indifferent to their love for us...but we will never have to be anxious about their love."

I found great peace in this. I have hear it said over and over that we should feel secure in knowing that we have the love of God, so therefore nothing else matters. But that does not mean I know how to discover this love. When I read this I realized that I can truly discover and start to live in the love of God by loving God and loving the God in others with all sincerity, and I can only attain true sincerity through humility. 

"Sincerity must be bought at a price: The humility to recognize our innumerable errors, and fidelity to tirelessly setting them right."

So, if my goal is to love, and I am tirelessly trying to love others and meditate on God's love for me, I do not have the time nor the energy to sit in despair, and the more I love, the more love replaces the loneliness that I was once held captive to. 

Now, I am not yet free, like everything, perfect and pure sincere love takes practice, prayer, takes practice, morality...takes practice and a conscious effort and fidelity. People think that you need to just BE moral, just be good, just be loving... and then when they fail they do not know why, and they begin a cycle of insecurity and self frustration that will lead to frustration with God.

Just like I will never be an expert musician or athlete without practice and patience, so I will never be a skilled and honed man of God who can love sincerely without loads of practice and patience. Practice is not success, if we always succeeded, it would not be practice. Practice is the exercise of failing again and again, but getting better with each attempt. Thus love and morality must be attempted again and again, we must fail, again and again. we must refuse to be angry, refuse to to sin, we must fail at both, but tirelessly keep trying, and in our moments of hopelessness we will find a greater strength that was built out of our little efforts here and there that we implanted by living a life of Refusal.

The Tyrant- and Other Poems

So, last semester I took a Shakespeare class, as many may know from previous posts. Studying the work, and life of such a brilliant mind did a number on me as a person, and a writer. The class inspired me to try out a lot of different kinds of writing, but mainly, poetry. over the course of the semester I wrote about 15-20 poems. Looking back on my work, they reflected the various emotions and ideas I had been toiling over and wrestling with.  I have decided to post some of my favorites, the poems that I felt were the most genuine, and from the heart. I hope you enjoy. If you have any questions about any of the poems and their origins, I am open to being open with you!








The Tyrant


True love is a democracy,
So when'd this tyrant come to pow'r?
taketh his time to envelope me,
and haunt 'til our last fateful hour.

To sit and dream about our love,
it once betook mine open eye,
n' thy beauty like the whitest dove,
all this was tainted with our lie.

Bespeek a lie, yes, that there too.
I closed thy lips with sullied hush,
and softly speak false love to you
Truth... lost myself, within the rush.

Twas then the swine but did begin
to show himself with ghastly squeal
to snarl and surface from within
and so my heart began to reel

the truths revealed with vile gesture
but hath two options left for they
leave tainted wounds to rot and fester
or grab the flesh and cut away

and so the truth yet wins again
there, do two souls speak... pain, be gone.
praise skies above, for grace within
and with their scars they carry on.

The Peak


Paradise, Oh Paradise, where doth though lie?
burrow in my mind and consumeth mine eye.
how exquisite your beauty, tis held in the peak
a mount built by hearts, the skies they doth seek.
foundation, o'er foundation etched in hard stone
I calleth on you as the sculptor to hone.
Bringeth the flame or shocks from above
reinforcing the frame that holdeth our love.

Oh artist of wonder you pleaseth mine eye
Her beauty transcends the depths of the sky
Oh maker and foreman of thy human heart,
thou hast implanted in her, your greatest of art.
So true to thy word, you buried this rose.
in the dirt of your garden it forever grows.
So there i shall walk, in the shade of your trees
proclaiming your love that outweighs the sees.

 in the sight of this son, what can i do,
but walketh beside her in service of you.



Fire of Desire (I am not dramatic, life was frustrating when i wrote this...lol)

The bondage of my heart is sorely felt
a choking scream - upon a murderous eye
inside, it withers slowly, a rose - to wilt
The holder then does strangle me - to die.

Desire, she plagues my soul with every moon
a hollowness left gaping in the wind
the dust and ash infect, tis then i swoon,
oh save me lest I suffer to mine end.

set fire to that rotten fruit, and flames-
yes, lick and stab and burn this offered head
draw life from wounds, deliver me from shame
from death and ash do rise, my beloved.

Awaketh from this monstrous nightmare
dead skin left peeled, mew flesh my soul doth bare.


Her.


Oh sweetest heart, that time doth part
I pray this prayer for you
May Lord above, o'er power his love
and make your heart anew
With each new dawn, may you be undone
o' soiled parchments of this world
So that you're free, to clearly see
the father's will unfurled
As trees abound, without a sound
So my love will surely grow
in silence here, with every prayer,
though your name I still don't know.


Sense - feeling of animate being


How to describe this quiet air
that rings my ears when no one's there
I look around as if to search
will bring solution to loves besmirch.

how I miss the taste of loves sweet lips
no, not just the love within a kiss
but endearments soft and sweetly spoke
an ascending bulge within my throat

The sweetest smell of true loves breath
and caressing the soft of true loves neck
do draw within most powerful lore
of a love that lasts forevermore

Tis the plague of love that brings desire,
'T does coax the senses that light the fire.

An Everyday Journey through Hell.


Alone...alone, it shan't be done
the narrow path, it twists and turns
My soul, my shoes they're worn, they're gone,
my naked feet among the thorns.

The light, the light I strive to find
for in this darkness I travel blind
the hunter lay not far behind
He aims to kill, my soul to bind

Demon, Demon what a horrible wretch
who in the dark doth glow, aflame.
perplexed my mind attempts to fetch
false light that bears oh sullied name.

Oh pain! oh pain! inflicted to kill
My heart's aflame, my screams are shrill
oh detriment of my own will,
has left me in the darkness still.

escape, escape my soul cannot
alone, i fight against the cage
My face grows pale, my blood runs hot
my soul left broken, torn, enraged

Above, Above doth search my eyes
My pride left Shattered, my all, it cries!
"Oh save me from this foul demise"
and instantly, clouds clear the skies

The path! The path! The light reveals!
i run, i sprint, forget my pride
I dance, I sing, when upon soft hills
I see the father, his arms spread wide.

Alone...Alone, oh nevermore
all pain is gone, that I once bore
For when pride was left upon the floor
twas in the light, my soul did soar.


Ahhh... I think that will do for now! thanks to all of you who read all of them! I hope my the extremities of my emotional capacity did not bother you!

Thoughts on Life and Glory.

glory
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	fame, importance

What am I living for? Such a cliche, but I find that I don't ask myself that question quite enough. What am I LIVING for, it's actually quite a heavy question. Cause really, the most important thing in our brief little lives is the life itself, (duh), but think about it. Life: Theologians and scientists study, ponder, and debate over its origins. People "devote" themselves to politics, religions, and materials in an attempt to put a label on theirs. All these things that societies and cultures are built on are established in an attempt to answer that cliche, "What am I living for?"

Many people will attempt to tell you what they live for, when in actuality they have no idea, they are just parroting some ideal or philosophy that sounded good to them, but are they really living it? I know that I fall into this category. I call myself religious, I call myself a Christian, but to what extent do I grasp the weight of my words? To what extent am I honestly answering that question? I believe, the way we can find the true answers for ourselves is to examine our actions. Do you live for fun? Do you live for pleasure? Money? Status and fame? Self-aggrandizement? or something deeper? This is not a new idea or philosophy, and it is found in many religions and beliefs. But, how often do we access this idea and analyze our lives, AND THEN, make changes accordingly?

I feel like I need to define for myself, where I stand in my life, WHAT I stand for. Up until now I can definitely say that I lived for pride, in all shapes and sizes. Now, pride is not all bad, but the pride I lived for was false and weak. I live for pride in myself, and the only way I found to boost this pride was to access the pride and attention of those around me. When others are proud of me, I am proud of myself. You can imagine how self destructive this can become, being that I am just shy of perfection. (Just kidding don't freak out!) I am actually tremendously imperfect, and I am ironically aware of this.

Anyways, my world thus far has been extremely self centered., I have been living for ME and since I am but a speck on the landscape of of the universe and time, what kind of Glory am I living for? If I am living for a temporary speck, how grand, how epic is my life? So, when I am living for myself, I am being self destructive (in the sense of glory and pride). Ironically, if I want to find self worth and pride, I have to live for something greater than myself, but to truly live for something greater than yourself you have to not care about your own glory.... wow, I know, it gets a bit convoluted. Such is the by product of seeking your own glory.

SO! How does one become someone who lives for something greater than himself? For something Eternal and Grand? To do this, I have to make my main concern the glory of Jesus, the Christ. Thus far, I have lived for the Glory of Austin Sill, The Speck!

(YES, I just brought God into the equation, and now many may become squeamish and detain themselves from reading on, but I ask of you to be open minded just for a second, because much of what I have to say transcends spirituality, and it can help edify you in overcoming frustration and insecurity in life.)

I can honestly say I am tired of being proud and selfish at my core, why? because I am tired of being insecure. Really... insecurity seems to stem from a failure in finding security in my own pride and glory. Since I am human, and therefore I am imperfect, my glory is therefore imperfect, and it is not just imperfect, it is non-existent, for true Glory comes from perfection and it is not self serving, for how important is a man who does nothing for anyone but himself?

It's time to be a crusader for something more glorious than myself. Time to LIVE for the most glorious being, the most powerful King, Christ. But how does one do this? With the primary tool granted to us, the Holy Spirit. We are all too unaware of it, whilst being aware of it. Thomas Merton writes in his book, No Man is an Island, "A man is only perfectly man when he consents to live as a son of God...The Holy spirit is the one who makes us sons of God [it's role in the trinity], justifying our souls by his presence and his charity, granting us the power to LIVE and ACT as sons of God [Jesus]."

Thus we have taken the first step in leaving the life lived for ourselves. We have simply recognized the power and the necessity of the spirit in guiding us to loving and willing the will of God.

BUT WHY? Many will ask this question, why God, why Christ. What proof do you have that living a life with myself at the center is detrimental? Well, here is a thought, and the hey theme to keep in mind through out this upcoming vicious circle of thought is "worth."

If we (Man) are Gods greatest creations, and we are all equal in the eyes of God, Then what does living for yourself, or any other man mean? It means you are living for limited glory, for stagnancy. For something that is impossible to reach new heights of emotional and spiritual welfare with. We are restricted to the flesh, to our own bodies, so what is there to gain by living for any man? For we can see and reach our full potential in the flesh, it has a conspicuous end. So, what does this world and this flesh have to offer that will help us reach new heights of pride, glory and well being? Money, power, fame, sex, fun, pleasure! All awesome things right? But the problem with living for these things is that they are all either created by man and society, or are a small part of us. therefore, if we LIVE for them, we are now living for something that is even less than ourselves. You are therefore, belittling yourself by becoming subservient to a material, or an emotion that will not fulfill you in the most basest of ways, and therefore you waste your life seeking more and more of it because what you have never fulfills.

So you say, fine I will not live for these things, but I can still live for myself. NOPE! because what do you have to offer? All that you have to offer is what you can create, and all that you create is of LESS WORTH than you are yourself. The byproduct of living for oneself is to live for something less than oneself. And, ironically, when a man is living for his own glory, he is actually living in a life that puts him below everyone around him, because for him to find earthly glory he must meet the standards and perception of those around him, he is living for the piteous opinions of others, whose weight of glory is no greater than what he already knows, which therefore has brought him full circle to a place of nothingness, and he becomes trapped on an endless ladder to nowhere.

Me thinks this paradox of misguided self fulfillment is why the world has become such a hostile, suicidal, self destructive and depressed place. We are all jam packed in a closed room of stone, clamoring around, fighting to get higher when there is no where to go. That is why Christs way is so great. When we take him on, and make his glory our focus, we die to ourselves, to that part of us that is fighting in that closed room, and we find ourselves in a new life that is outside of the room, that is enthralled with the beauty that surrounds us, so that our eyes are off of ourselves. Of course, realizing this is just the beginning, and we are not completely free of that room until we have reached a place where our only desire is to love, and live for God.

How freeing it feels to know that he has a plan, and that all I have to do is try my very best to align myself with his desires. To live for oneself is to trap oneself in a box of confusion, how frustrating it is to search for Gold in a pile of crap.

Final Thoughts (Part. 1- Truth?)

So, the year is coming to a close. The ever present commercialization of Christmas runs conspicuously rampant, and many of us are finishing up with semesters for work and school, preparing for a new year and new opportunities. I feel that for years I have often gotten all too swept up in the excitement of Christmas and the new year that I forget to reflect on what  life has taught me over the year I just traversed.

This year, things have been a bit different. I am not as excited about the holiday rush as I normally am, and it as given me a right mind to reflect on the past 12 months. I am amazed at all that has happened this past year. There have been numerous transformations in my life and mind as well as in relationships with loved ones and with God. I mean, it was just about a year ago that I really stepped into my life here in the San Gabriel Valley. Just about a year ago that I opened my eyes and ears up to God, trying to find his new plans for me at this new church, CCV. I have never really stopped to realize all that God has taught me in this time, to realize how I have changed and grown.


So, now that I finally have some time, being done with school, I have resolved to write about just a handful of things that I found relevant and inspiring over the past year. I don't know how many of these blogs I will write before I, "get over it" but I think it is necessary to share the truths that we learn, which leads me to my first entry, Truth.

As many of you know from past blogs, I took an introduction to Shakespeare class this last semester. Being an English major, I really, really enjoyed it and took the opportunity to learn as much as I could by studying one of the greatest minds to ever think. I was surprised at how much I was able to learn from a dead poet!

As the semester has just recently come to a close, our professor, Dr. Salwak, challenged us to look back on all of Shakespeare's work that we studied and analyze themes that were consistent. One that I found in several, was an urge, a desire from Shakespeare, to his audience. The line is delivered in the end of his play, "The Tempest." It goes, "Gentle breath of yours my sails must fill, or else my project fails." It is spoken in the epilogue of the play by the character, Prospero. Prospero is a character of grace, valiance, and honesty, an enlightened king of a distant Isle. In many ways, the voice of Shakespeare is reflected through Prospero, but focusing on this line specifically, there is much weight.

Let me start by stating this, I do not idolize Shakespeare in any sense. I don't think him to be superhuman or god-like in any way, but I do think that a man who contemplated human nature as much as the late William Shakespeare did, would, by his end, have amazing insight into the subject matter. Shakespeare did, by his end, have a well thought out understanding of human nature, and I am under the impression, that was his life goal. Why? Not for his own glory or pride, but for reasons much grander. Shakespeare lived in a time of artistic revolution, a newfound open-mindedness swept the nation of England. Shakespeare, was not apart from it all, but I believe he had a revelation, to learn and to teach the complex inner workings of the human soul. So, I  believe he sat down with the greatest forms of inspiration he could find, The Bible, a book with more insight into truth than any other ever written, and a mirror, figuratively speaking. Shakespeare looked within himself, analyzed his thoughts and natural instinct, his selfishness, happiness, pride... where did these come from, what did they cause? Shakespeare sought to find these truths, and reveal them to a new generation of free and wild thinking.

So, he was not always the great mind we think of him as, with vast amounts of knowledge ingrained in him from birth, not at all. Shakespeare learned everything along the way, it shows in his work. So, by the time he wrote his last play, "The Tempest," he saw his work coming to and end, and begged of his readers, to share what they learned, as he did, by writing his works. Our breath, must fill the sails of his work, our words, must speak wisdom, wisdom that he HELPS us discover with his plays.

(Just to make sure that I am not offending of being off putting to the avid readers of the bible, let me reassure you, Shakespeare is not greater than the word of God. Shakespeare, rather, took truths that he found to be relevant to his culture, and ingrained them in his plays. The bible was written from a perspective of people that many in western culture, have trouble understanding, in parables that they could not relate to. So, Shakespeare's work, hand in hand with the Bible, is a bridge of understanding for those in Western Culture. the fact that Shakespeare was so insightful to the Bible and the truths of human nature that it helped him discover, is why he has become so timeless).

Let me close (if I haven't already lost you in boredom!) with a practical approach to what Shakespeare had in mind, and, since I am on the subject of Truth, and the importance of speaking our minds, let me take a passage from his play, "King Lear."

"The weight of this sad time we must obey, Speak what we feel, not what we ought say." This line is delivered at the end of the play. By this time the tragedy has taken it's course, and many have suffered. A major catalyst for all the death and destruction in the play, was hiding the truth. Several characters literally disguised throughout, and others hiding behind lies and false emotion. In the end, truth prevails, it is revealed in all occurring, but what it took to spawn, caused pain and death.

It is really easy to lie in a culture like the one we live in. Everyone is seeking to be politically correct and "tolerant" to all. This my friends, is an act in futility. The truth cannot, WILL NOT, be hidden. It always finds a way to reveal itself. As adults, we cannot waste anymore time sugar coating things that major issues, we must confront our problems and differences in life, and FACE THEM. We cannot overcome adversity as a humanity, if we speak friendliness but brood in hate, if speak lies and hide the truth. GRANTED, there are instances when being polite can serve to help someone feel good, like, "hey what do you think about this shirt?"

Although it is obviously hideous, there is no need to be disparaging to the spirit of this exuberant young man! Rather, tell him, "Oh, well I have never seen anything like it, (on a human), that shirt is one of a kind!" You see. I know there are many who will try to turn this on me by saying, well where is the line, you have to be 100% or not at all. Ugh, lets not get tiresome. We all have common sense, if you are facing an issue of trivial value, weigh the costs of a little white lie as opposed to hiding your true self to fit in, or hiding your beliefs as not to conflict with anyone around you. It is important to execute common sense, and that is a point that we seem to lack in with our culture. We all have, all or nothing attitudes, and life does not work like that. You have to contemplate EVERYTHING in life. Every decision or belief should always be given a second, third, fourth thought! (but not five...c'mon no need to be excessive).

It comes down to this. Why hide the truth. Shakespeare puts it best in Hamlet, "To thine own self, be true." Do not compromise your beliefs. We get one life, ONE! do not waste yours trying to please EVERYONE. Yes, live to love, seek to serve, but by no means put on a facade. My belief is that once you come to terms and are honest with what is true to you, only then can you understand true tolerance.  To deliver the truth to someone, shows true integrity and intimacy. much better than lying, and then brooding and gossiping behind their back. It's called "Conscience Loving." And according to my professor there is an essay on the topic, I don't know, google it. But it talks about a possibility of a breakthrough, serendipitous moments that we pass up out of fear of the truth, or what honesty MIGHT bring. Growing up, my mom always said, "What if is from the devil." I found it funny then, but the older I get, the more true I find it to be.

So I PRITHEE, as Shakespeare would say. Speak what you feel. And more so, I beg you all to look within as often as you can. It is amazing what God can reveal to you. This is why I write and read. Knowledge lies within words and communication, so utilize what has been given, second guess everything as not to be tricked by false preachers of truth. I will tell you right now, a great place to start is with The Bible, too tough? Shakespeare, to Elizabethan? C.S. Lewis.. start with him, journal, and work your way up. Read side by side with the Word of God, pray, and think, THINK! It is free and there is more to discover in your own introspection and contemplations than any book or film could ever reveal to you!

A Love in Shades of Grey - A Poem

I have been writing a lot of poetry lately, so i just figured I would throw one of my most recent poems up for kicks, seeing as I have not posted in a while. enjoy.








A Love in Shades of Grey


My mind is wrapped, my thoughts entrapped
at dusk and dawn of day;
with a spectacle , so powerful
of love that fades to grey


Tis ironic how, a love so empowered 
doth live while we decay.
Our bodies break, and hearts will ache
but not to loves dismay.


This attitude o' such loves fortitude
does not come sure as day,
but upon I do, is a promise to
romance in shades of grey


True love is past, it cannot last
the world seems to convey.
Dear souls shall desecrate, then separate
entrapped in disarray.


Oh abhorrent thoughts, that I will not
let o'er my mind have way.
For the love I've found, will surely resound
in spectacles of grey.


So now my dear, with open ear
lay down and hear me say,
Oh rest your head, my beloved
and love in shades of grey.