The Tyrant- and Other Poems

So, last semester I took a Shakespeare class, as many may know from previous posts. Studying the work, and life of such a brilliant mind did a number on me as a person, and a writer. The class inspired me to try out a lot of different kinds of writing, but mainly, poetry. over the course of the semester I wrote about 15-20 poems. Looking back on my work, they reflected the various emotions and ideas I had been toiling over and wrestling with.  I have decided to post some of my favorites, the poems that I felt were the most genuine, and from the heart. I hope you enjoy. If you have any questions about any of the poems and their origins, I am open to being open with you!








The Tyrant


True love is a democracy,
So when'd this tyrant come to pow'r?
taketh his time to envelope me,
and haunt 'til our last fateful hour.

To sit and dream about our love,
it once betook mine open eye,
n' thy beauty like the whitest dove,
all this was tainted with our lie.

Bespeek a lie, yes, that there too.
I closed thy lips with sullied hush,
and softly speak false love to you
Truth... lost myself, within the rush.

Twas then the swine but did begin
to show himself with ghastly squeal
to snarl and surface from within
and so my heart began to reel

the truths revealed with vile gesture
but hath two options left for they
leave tainted wounds to rot and fester
or grab the flesh and cut away

and so the truth yet wins again
there, do two souls speak... pain, be gone.
praise skies above, for grace within
and with their scars they carry on.

The Peak


Paradise, Oh Paradise, where doth though lie?
burrow in my mind and consumeth mine eye.
how exquisite your beauty, tis held in the peak
a mount built by hearts, the skies they doth seek.
foundation, o'er foundation etched in hard stone
I calleth on you as the sculptor to hone.
Bringeth the flame or shocks from above
reinforcing the frame that holdeth our love.

Oh artist of wonder you pleaseth mine eye
Her beauty transcends the depths of the sky
Oh maker and foreman of thy human heart,
thou hast implanted in her, your greatest of art.
So true to thy word, you buried this rose.
in the dirt of your garden it forever grows.
So there i shall walk, in the shade of your trees
proclaiming your love that outweighs the sees.

 in the sight of this son, what can i do,
but walketh beside her in service of you.



Fire of Desire (I am not dramatic, life was frustrating when i wrote this...lol)

The bondage of my heart is sorely felt
a choking scream - upon a murderous eye
inside, it withers slowly, a rose - to wilt
The holder then does strangle me - to die.

Desire, she plagues my soul with every moon
a hollowness left gaping in the wind
the dust and ash infect, tis then i swoon,
oh save me lest I suffer to mine end.

set fire to that rotten fruit, and flames-
yes, lick and stab and burn this offered head
draw life from wounds, deliver me from shame
from death and ash do rise, my beloved.

Awaketh from this monstrous nightmare
dead skin left peeled, mew flesh my soul doth bare.


Her.


Oh sweetest heart, that time doth part
I pray this prayer for you
May Lord above, o'er power his love
and make your heart anew
With each new dawn, may you be undone
o' soiled parchments of this world
So that you're free, to clearly see
the father's will unfurled
As trees abound, without a sound
So my love will surely grow
in silence here, with every prayer,
though your name I still don't know.


Sense - feeling of animate being


How to describe this quiet air
that rings my ears when no one's there
I look around as if to search
will bring solution to loves besmirch.

how I miss the taste of loves sweet lips
no, not just the love within a kiss
but endearments soft and sweetly spoke
an ascending bulge within my throat

The sweetest smell of true loves breath
and caressing the soft of true loves neck
do draw within most powerful lore
of a love that lasts forevermore

Tis the plague of love that brings desire,
'T does coax the senses that light the fire.

An Everyday Journey through Hell.


Alone...alone, it shan't be done
the narrow path, it twists and turns
My soul, my shoes they're worn, they're gone,
my naked feet among the thorns.

The light, the light I strive to find
for in this darkness I travel blind
the hunter lay not far behind
He aims to kill, my soul to bind

Demon, Demon what a horrible wretch
who in the dark doth glow, aflame.
perplexed my mind attempts to fetch
false light that bears oh sullied name.

Oh pain! oh pain! inflicted to kill
My heart's aflame, my screams are shrill
oh detriment of my own will,
has left me in the darkness still.

escape, escape my soul cannot
alone, i fight against the cage
My face grows pale, my blood runs hot
my soul left broken, torn, enraged

Above, Above doth search my eyes
My pride left Shattered, my all, it cries!
"Oh save me from this foul demise"
and instantly, clouds clear the skies

The path! The path! The light reveals!
i run, i sprint, forget my pride
I dance, I sing, when upon soft hills
I see the father, his arms spread wide.

Alone...Alone, oh nevermore
all pain is gone, that I once bore
For when pride was left upon the floor
twas in the light, my soul did soar.


Ahhh... I think that will do for now! thanks to all of you who read all of them! I hope my the extremities of my emotional capacity did not bother you!

Thoughts on Life and Glory.

glory
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	fame, importance

What am I living for? Such a cliche, but I find that I don't ask myself that question quite enough. What am I LIVING for, it's actually quite a heavy question. Cause really, the most important thing in our brief little lives is the life itself, (duh), but think about it. Life: Theologians and scientists study, ponder, and debate over its origins. People "devote" themselves to politics, religions, and materials in an attempt to put a label on theirs. All these things that societies and cultures are built on are established in an attempt to answer that cliche, "What am I living for?"

Many people will attempt to tell you what they live for, when in actuality they have no idea, they are just parroting some ideal or philosophy that sounded good to them, but are they really living it? I know that I fall into this category. I call myself religious, I call myself a Christian, but to what extent do I grasp the weight of my words? To what extent am I honestly answering that question? I believe, the way we can find the true answers for ourselves is to examine our actions. Do you live for fun? Do you live for pleasure? Money? Status and fame? Self-aggrandizement? or something deeper? This is not a new idea or philosophy, and it is found in many religions and beliefs. But, how often do we access this idea and analyze our lives, AND THEN, make changes accordingly?

I feel like I need to define for myself, where I stand in my life, WHAT I stand for. Up until now I can definitely say that I lived for pride, in all shapes and sizes. Now, pride is not all bad, but the pride I lived for was false and weak. I live for pride in myself, and the only way I found to boost this pride was to access the pride and attention of those around me. When others are proud of me, I am proud of myself. You can imagine how self destructive this can become, being that I am just shy of perfection. (Just kidding don't freak out!) I am actually tremendously imperfect, and I am ironically aware of this.

Anyways, my world thus far has been extremely self centered., I have been living for ME and since I am but a speck on the landscape of of the universe and time, what kind of Glory am I living for? If I am living for a temporary speck, how grand, how epic is my life? So, when I am living for myself, I am being self destructive (in the sense of glory and pride). Ironically, if I want to find self worth and pride, I have to live for something greater than myself, but to truly live for something greater than yourself you have to not care about your own glory.... wow, I know, it gets a bit convoluted. Such is the by product of seeking your own glory.

SO! How does one become someone who lives for something greater than himself? For something Eternal and Grand? To do this, I have to make my main concern the glory of Jesus, the Christ. Thus far, I have lived for the Glory of Austin Sill, The Speck!

(YES, I just brought God into the equation, and now many may become squeamish and detain themselves from reading on, but I ask of you to be open minded just for a second, because much of what I have to say transcends spirituality, and it can help edify you in overcoming frustration and insecurity in life.)

I can honestly say I am tired of being proud and selfish at my core, why? because I am tired of being insecure. Really... insecurity seems to stem from a failure in finding security in my own pride and glory. Since I am human, and therefore I am imperfect, my glory is therefore imperfect, and it is not just imperfect, it is non-existent, for true Glory comes from perfection and it is not self serving, for how important is a man who does nothing for anyone but himself?

It's time to be a crusader for something more glorious than myself. Time to LIVE for the most glorious being, the most powerful King, Christ. But how does one do this? With the primary tool granted to us, the Holy Spirit. We are all too unaware of it, whilst being aware of it. Thomas Merton writes in his book, No Man is an Island, "A man is only perfectly man when he consents to live as a son of God...The Holy spirit is the one who makes us sons of God [it's role in the trinity], justifying our souls by his presence and his charity, granting us the power to LIVE and ACT as sons of God [Jesus]."

Thus we have taken the first step in leaving the life lived for ourselves. We have simply recognized the power and the necessity of the spirit in guiding us to loving and willing the will of God.

BUT WHY? Many will ask this question, why God, why Christ. What proof do you have that living a life with myself at the center is detrimental? Well, here is a thought, and the hey theme to keep in mind through out this upcoming vicious circle of thought is "worth."

If we (Man) are Gods greatest creations, and we are all equal in the eyes of God, Then what does living for yourself, or any other man mean? It means you are living for limited glory, for stagnancy. For something that is impossible to reach new heights of emotional and spiritual welfare with. We are restricted to the flesh, to our own bodies, so what is there to gain by living for any man? For we can see and reach our full potential in the flesh, it has a conspicuous end. So, what does this world and this flesh have to offer that will help us reach new heights of pride, glory and well being? Money, power, fame, sex, fun, pleasure! All awesome things right? But the problem with living for these things is that they are all either created by man and society, or are a small part of us. therefore, if we LIVE for them, we are now living for something that is even less than ourselves. You are therefore, belittling yourself by becoming subservient to a material, or an emotion that will not fulfill you in the most basest of ways, and therefore you waste your life seeking more and more of it because what you have never fulfills.

So you say, fine I will not live for these things, but I can still live for myself. NOPE! because what do you have to offer? All that you have to offer is what you can create, and all that you create is of LESS WORTH than you are yourself. The byproduct of living for oneself is to live for something less than oneself. And, ironically, when a man is living for his own glory, he is actually living in a life that puts him below everyone around him, because for him to find earthly glory he must meet the standards and perception of those around him, he is living for the piteous opinions of others, whose weight of glory is no greater than what he already knows, which therefore has brought him full circle to a place of nothingness, and he becomes trapped on an endless ladder to nowhere.

Me thinks this paradox of misguided self fulfillment is why the world has become such a hostile, suicidal, self destructive and depressed place. We are all jam packed in a closed room of stone, clamoring around, fighting to get higher when there is no where to go. That is why Christs way is so great. When we take him on, and make his glory our focus, we die to ourselves, to that part of us that is fighting in that closed room, and we find ourselves in a new life that is outside of the room, that is enthralled with the beauty that surrounds us, so that our eyes are off of ourselves. Of course, realizing this is just the beginning, and we are not completely free of that room until we have reached a place where our only desire is to love, and live for God.

How freeing it feels to know that he has a plan, and that all I have to do is try my very best to align myself with his desires. To live for oneself is to trap oneself in a box of confusion, how frustrating it is to search for Gold in a pile of crap.